LAG's On Twitter..

Posts Tagged ‘friend or boyfriend’

Friend OR Boyfriend? Apply the Golden Rule…

Friend OR Boyfriend?

Apply the Golden Rule…

Are you dating someone that isn’t exactly your boyfriend but definitely falls well outside of the “friend zone”?  Is there a “special guy” in your life or someone that you’re “dealing with”?  If so, is the special guy you’re dealing with your man or just your man-friend?  So often in my dating life people constantly ask me to define my relationships.  Am I dealing with the guy I met in DC? What ever happened with that hot guy who had all the tattoos?  Newsflash:  Not all relationships and above average friendships must turn into something.  However, if you are trying to turn your friendship with a guy into something more, then you need to get clear on what’s what.

Everyone’s approach to this is different but daters around the world usually fall into one of two camps.  Some women are what I like to call “first-date-direct.”  That is, most of their cards are put on the table on the first date.  These women make it clear that they will not be strung along for some indefinite time-share that may or may not materialize a relationship. While this behavior is often seen as intimidating, these ladies seldom face the question of friend or boyfriend.

Others are more flexible and prefer to simply “see where it goes.”  This is probably the most common approach as most women perpetually wait for the other shoe to drop anyway.   Of course, the ambiguity involved in this approach can be a bit un-nerving.  If you’re not careful, you can easily fall into a vortex of back and forth conversations that still lead to the land of gray area.

Regardless of which camp you find yourself in, it’s not brain science.  If you find yourself wanting more than friendship, look at the situation with both eyes and simply observe.  Don’t over crowd your brain with possible explanations for someone’s behavior (or lack thereof).  For example, if you’re dating someone who constantly reinforces the fact that you’re not in a relationship, take it as a sign that there’s a good chance your situation isn’t going to blossom into a relationship.  When you’re single and dating, apply the golden rule and treat the people you deal with as they treat you.  Do not go above and beyond in hopes that this person will reciprocate your actions.  Do not arrange for special things if special things have never been arranged for you.  Above all, do not make yourself widely available to someone who only makes themselves available on their terms.  This is how people get hurt.

Los Angeles is filled with beautiful women who are always going to be younger, smarter or more successful than you.  This isn’t your concern.  As a matter of fact, this actually works in your favor because single men (and women) are typically looking for their best option.  Men don’t want to settle for a simply great girl if there’s a younger, more attractive girl with whom they might have a chance.  You’ll want to weed these men out of your dating circle as quickly as possible.  If you don’t, they’ll only take up time that could be better spent on your better matches.  Believe it or not, there are many frustrated, good men in the world who are looking for their most compatible match, as opposed to the hottest woman that will tolerate them.

I know this seems basic but applying the Golden Rule in dating has never disappointed me.  This Friday, for example, I could choose to spend my time with the guy I hear from only just enough to make sure that I don’t erase his number from my iPhone.  Or, I could spend my time with the guy who has read every blog I’ve ever written, asks me if I want to grab dinner and a movie every weekend, and makes an effort to get more involved in my life every time I see him.  I’ll give you one guess where my Friday will be spent…

  • ​Michael Jackson & Freddie Mercury Made This AH-Mazing Duet That Is Unforgettable! September 21, 2014
    We miss them so much! Michael Jackson and Queen frontman Freddie Mercury may be gone but they are far from forgotten, and their legend lives on through their music! Luckily, these men had a HUGE body of work, which included some unreleased songs they did together! So, the remaining members of Queen decided to cash in on this […]
  • Nicki Minaj Evokes Some Serious Musical Magic At The iHeartRadio Music Festival!! September 20, 2014
    This wasn't the only highlight of the show! Nicki Minaj was on fire last night at the 2014 iHeartRadio Music Festival as she performed a number of her hit songs!! Those hits included Anaconda, Bang Bang, and she even did an acapella version of the song she had a major part in - Flawless Remix!!! Although we're not exactly sure that part was […]
  • Ariana Grande Puts On One Hell Of A Good Show At The iHeartRadio Music Festival!!! September 20, 2014
    Lovely!!! That's the word we'd use to describe Ariana Grande's performance at the 2014 iHeartRadio Music Festival!!! The 21-year-old singer performed some of her biggest hits including Problem, The Way, Break Free, Break Your Heart Right Back, and Be My Baby and she nailed each and every one of them! And her set had the entire crowd at the MGM […]
  • Billy Crystal Remembers Robin Williams With Jimmy Fallon & We're Missing His Smile All Over Again! September 20, 2014
    Everyone is still in shock at the sudden and tragic loss of Robin Williams, and Billy Crystal is no different. The comedian went on The Tonight Show where he and host Jimmy Fallon swapped stories about the late star, recounting all of the times that he made them laugh the hardest. Since Billy was Robin's good […]
  • Nicki Minaj And Ariana Grande Both Kill It At The iHeartRadio Music Festival!!! September 20, 2014
    What a treat!!! Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande both got down at the 2014 iHeartRadio Music Festival as Ariana totes made a surprise appearance during the rapper's big set!  And while their third musketeer Jessie J was noticeably absent - these two superstars still had one ah-mazing show together!  A performance that rocked the crowd this past Friday at t […]
  • ​Kim Kardashian's Nudes Are The Latest To Be Leaked Onto The Internet! And She's Not Alone! September 20, 2014
    Poor girls! For some reason people are still hacking into celebs' phones and Kim Kardashian is the latest victim. Some sexy snaps, which we're sure were meant for Kanye West's eyes only, have been leaked onto 4chan and Reddit, though Reddit was quick to get them down. Interestingly, Kim isn't wearing her wedding ring in them, so it's […]
  • Taylor Swift Gives A Wonderful Performance At The iHeartRadio Music Festival! Check Out Her Performance HERE! September 20, 2014
    We wouldn't expect anything less from this one! Taylor Swift was a BIG hit at the iHeartRadio Music Festival this past Friday at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, and we loved the fact that she was playing an instrument, as well!  The lady of music was rocking out on the electronic keyboard as she performed a whole bunch […]
  • Chris Martin Has 'Fallen In Love' With Jennifer Lawrence & She's Living Out A Teenage Fantasy! September 20, 2014
    It sounds like this relationship was made somewhere in the clouds! Ever since Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence first hooked up, we've been hearing nothing except how happy they are together! And the Coldplay frontman is apparently completely head-over-heels for the Hunger Games actress! An insider revealed: "He's fallen in love. It's th […]
  • James Blunt Is Off The Market! Find Out About His Wedding With Sofia Wellesley HERE! September 20, 2014
    Congrats!!! James Blunt's bonfire heart finally decided to settle down and he made things official with his lover Sofia Wellesley on Friday! The You're Beautiful singer's ceremony took place in Majorca, with their close friends and family in attendance at the private ceremony. While the ceremony at the London registry was small, there was also […]
  • Teresa Giudice's Delayed Sentencing Is Pushing Back The RHONJ Reunion! September 20, 2014
    This whole situation is so sad. Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice's sentencing has been pushed back to October 2nd in her fraud case, where it's been reported that she'll likely get house arrest. As a result though, the Bravo execs have decided to push back the show's reunion taping to October 5th so that […]