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Posts Tagged ‘friend politics’

THE BRANJELINA EFFECT

THE BRANJELINA EFFECT

Missing Person:  Former BFF, five-foot-five, brown hair, brown eyes, substantial addiction to low-rise skinny jeans.  If found, please let her know that she’s totally gay for blowing off the only person in the world who will listen to her woes should her latest man accessory bail for the girl next door.

Well it finally happened.  After all those late night jaunts to the Good Bar, Bar Marmont, Bar Chloe, and Vinoteca, the new Wine bar downtown, your BFF has landed a man.  Are you jealous?  A little yes but that’s not the reason that you’re so upset.  You’re upset because it seems that your friendship had an expiration date this whole time.  No nutritional facts, no warnings, no sell by date other than the unspoken understanding that when your wing man finds a new love interest it’s time to throw out the Friday night routine and role solo.  Why does this happen you ask?  Well, because the reality of momentary, mind-blowing orgasms is much more interesting than the mere prospect of momentary, mind-blowing orgasms.

Now all of your plans, including GIRL’S night out, will inevitably include HIM and you’ll never get to speak candidly until she feels like venting about his latest ambiguous text message.  Of course there will be excuses upon excuses when your amigo doesn’t feel like hurting your feelings and flakes on your awesome concert tickets in order to stay in and eat saturated fat take-out while watching Lord of the Ring’s re-runs with her new beau.

Unfortunately this is one of the annoying rites of passage for any friendship.  Stay diligent and always incorporate your friend into your plans whether she rsvp’s yes or no.  After all, friends don’t let friends lose themselves in relationships.  However, when you find that your friend is caught up in couple bliss don’t forget that you too will one day be the girl dipping out of happy hour to hang out with Mr. Right now.

 

  • The New York Times Apologizes For The Insulting Article That Called Shonda Rhimes An 'Angry Black Woman!' September 23, 2014
    Well, it's about time. In case you hadn't heard, The New York Times ran an article written by critic Alessandra Stanley about TV producer Shonda Rhimes that referenced her as "an angry black woman," and also claimed that Viola Davis was "less classically beautiful" than lighter skinned actresses. Yes, this happened in 2014, and […]
  • People Are Microwaving Their iPhones — Here's Why! September 23, 2014
    Although most of us would never, ever, ever put any Apple product (aside from maybe an actual apple) inside a microwave, a few iPhone users have been tricked into nuking their smartphones. Pranksters over at 4Chan ran a false ad that claimed that iOS 8 had a new feature, which allowed their iPhone to gain power from microwaves. Of […]
  • Ariana Grande & Big Sean Pack On The PDA At The iHeartRadio After Party In Vegas! September 23, 2014
    It's official — well, sorta! Ariana Grande and Big Sean didn't exactly make a statement announcing their dating status, but as we all know, actions speak louder than words! These two are constantly dodging questions about their relationship, even though the A$$ rapper did kind of hint at their chemistry when he was asked about Ari! The tiny songstr […]
  • Protect Yourself From A Nude Photo Hack! Here's How! September 23, 2014
    Could Rihanna, Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lawrence saved themselves from a lot of XXXposure and embarrassment if they just used some common sense? Most definitely, says computer security expert Gregory D. Evans. The hackers — who leaked yet another set of celebrity nude photos over the weekend — aren't geniuses, Evans says. He believes they broke into […]
  • Hilary Duff Expressed Her Disinterest In Aaron Carter, But What Does He Have To Say About That??! September 23, 2014
    YUP. We're still talking about Aaron Carter and Hilary Duff. And Hilary's not all that thrilled about it either.  Though Aaron proclaimed his undying love for the blonde babe months ago, she is just now responding to the wild comments.  The married mama said: "He does, I keep seeing that, that he keeps doing that. I don't know how I […]