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Posts Tagged ‘friend politics’

THE BRANJELINA EFFECT

THE BRANJELINA EFFECT

Missing Person:  Former BFF, five-foot-five, brown hair, brown eyes, substantial addiction to low-rise skinny jeans.  If found, please let her know that she’s totally gay for blowing off the only person in the world who will listen to her woes should her latest man accessory bail for the girl next door.

Well it finally happened.  After all those late night jaunts to the Good Bar, Bar Marmont, Bar Chloe, and Vinoteca, the new Wine bar downtown, your BFF has landed a man.  Are you jealous?  A little yes but that’s not the reason that you’re so upset.  You’re upset because it seems that your friendship had an expiration date this whole time.  No nutritional facts, no warnings, no sell by date other than the unspoken understanding that when your wing man finds a new love interest it’s time to throw out the Friday night routine and role solo.  Why does this happen you ask?  Well, because the reality of momentary, mind-blowing orgasms is much more interesting than the mere prospect of momentary, mind-blowing orgasms.

Now all of your plans, including GIRL’S night out, will inevitably include HIM and you’ll never get to speak candidly until she feels like venting about his latest ambiguous text message.  Of course there will be excuses upon excuses when your amigo doesn’t feel like hurting your feelings and flakes on your awesome concert tickets in order to stay in and eat saturated fat take-out while watching Lord of the Ring’s re-runs with her new beau.

Unfortunately this is one of the annoying rites of passage for any friendship.  Stay diligent and always incorporate your friend into your plans whether she rsvp’s yes or no.  After all, friends don’t let friends lose themselves in relationships.  However, when you find that your friend is caught up in couple bliss don’t forget that you too will one day be the girl dipping out of happy hour to hang out with Mr. Right now.

 

  • Kiesza Shows Off Her Impressive Capoeira Skills! September 1, 2014
    Add this to the list of why she’s one of the most talented entertainers out there! We all know that Kiesza kills it when she dances on stage, but did you know she’s a capoeira master as well?! The entertainer shared a video of herself doing the Brazilian martial art, which is also a form of dance, […]
  • Jennifer Lawrence, Victoria Justice, & More Are The Latest Victims Of A Phone Hacker Who Leaked Nude Pics! August 31, 2014
    Oh noooo!!! Sadly, many of Hollywood’s sweethearts have fallen victim to a phone hacker, and this person went HAM! Pics of Jennifer Lawrence, Victoria Justice, Kate Upton, Ariana Grande, Teresa Palmer, Hope Solo, Krysten Ritter, and many more made their way to the Internet today. What’s really scary is that there’s a list of people whose pics […]
  • Angelina Jolie's Ex Lover Jenny Shimizu Is Getting Married Soon! August 31, 2014
    Ah, what could've been! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just seemingly had one of the best weddings in recent memory, and now it turns out that one of Angelina's former flames is also on her way down the aisle! Actress slash model Jenny Shimizu will be marrying her girlfriend Michelle Harper at some point in the […]
  • Gabrielle Union & Dwyane Wade Are Officially Hitched! We Have The Wedding Details HERE! August 31, 2014
    They finally did it! After four years of dating, and a pretty scandalous engagement period, Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union officially tied the knot on Saturday at Chateau Artisan in Miami. The Being Mary Jane star looked gorgeous in her custom Dennis Basso gown, while Dwyane was dapper in his custom DSquared2 suit, which both went with […]
  • This Week In New Music! August 31, 2014
    Mikky Ekko - Smile [CLICK HERE] Elliphant - Only Getting Younger [CLICK HERE] Chet Faker - Gold [CLICK HERE] Kimbra - Miracle [CLICK HERE] David Guetta - Lovers On The Sun [CLICK HERE] Greyson Chance - Thrilla In Manila [CLICK HERE] […]
  • Kate Mara Officially Splits From Max Minghella August 31, 2014
    We hate to see love end! Kate Mara and Max Minghella have been together for nearly four years, but their time together is over, according to a new report. The House of Cards actress didn’t arrive at the Emmys with Minghella, but instead had stylist Johnny Wujek as her arm candy for the night. Wujek also […]
  • Ashlee Simpson & Evan Ross: The Details On Their Wedding TODAY! August 31, 2014
    So exciting!!! Ashlee Simpson is all set to wed Evan Ross at his mother, Diana Ross,’ Greenwich, Connecticut home today! It’s already been reported that Diana might sing at the wedding, but Stevie Wonder will definitely perform at the reception! The vibe for the festivities will be Bohemian, just like Ashlee, with things like dream catchers to […]
  • Mark Wahlberg & His Family Congratulate Donnie Wahlberg & Jenny McCarthy On Their Wedding! August 31, 2014
    Well, this is a good sign, right?! Rumors came out yesterday that the reason Mark Wahlberg wouldn’t be at brother Donnie Wahlberg’s wedding to Jenny McCarthy is because Marky Mark and his family weren’t fans of the bride! Well, that and they were celebrating his daughter Ella’s birthday. But the 43-year-old took to Facebook to record a video […]
  • Taylor Swift Signs On To Advise On The Voice! August 31, 2014
    So much star power next season!!! Season seven of The Voice is almost here, and we have a new person who's joining the crew: Taylor Swift! The 24-year-old country cutie is going to advise coaches Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani, and Pharrell in the same way that Coldplay’s Chris Martin did. Besides, each coach has their […]
  • Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Want So Much Privacy On Their Honeymoon That They Paid The Locals To Go Away! But It Might Not Be Why You’re Thinking! August 31, 2014
    Good thing they saved all of that money on the wedding! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are using their honeymoon as a chance to film their long awaited movie together, By The Sea. The bride was spotted scouting filming locations near Malta recently, but they are going the extra mile for this flick! Brangelina, and their brood, reportedly […]